Handsfree – are you?

Texting and driving – do you?

Texting’s very tricky with one hand on the wheel
You have to press the buttons and do it all by feel
Another minor issue is the fact you cannot see
And you have to find your glasses whilst steering with your knee

Then of course you drop your phone and have to feel some more
With one eye just above the dash – your left hand on the floor
Eventually you feel its form your finger touches plastic
But oops did you forget the road – ACTION NOW IS DRASTIC
SLAM YOUR FOOT ON THE GODDAMN BRAKE AND TAKE EVASIVE ACTION
YOU’RE HEADING FOR THE CAR IN FRONT AND SOME FEW MONTHS IN TRACTION

Equilibrium then restored and returning to your texting
You find you have to start from scratch, oh how very vexing!!!
Finally with message sent you await the pleasing tone
That means a little quip’s comes back – dear God you love this phone!!!!
Though driving can you get from A to B its true
It shouldn’t interfere with more important things you do
Don’t worry that the law says “no” or think you might get fined
The chances are they’ll never see if you duck down all the time

Until one day you’re followed home by some off duty cop
Who radioed up the heavy mob to catch you on the hop
“Is this your car please madam, were you driving it today
We’ve had reports you’re steering in a scary kind of way”
“We need you now to blow in here in order to refute
Our belief you may well be – pissed as a frickin’ newt”
Neighbours stop to watch you on the doorstep of your shame
This surely isn’t meant to be THE five minutes of your fame
Negative and certain that you’re not some sort of soak
They leave you in the doorway a humiliated joke

You would not drive your car, under alcohol’s effect
So consider the above and on your fortune so reflect
Cease your risky business, and hear my sorry tale
Don’t be a frickin’ ejit, don’t end up in some jail
My mates your challenge now, is clear for all to see
Leave your phone, go it alone, be forever more hands-free

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