All the things we nagged about that made us rather snappy,
Were ended in an instant so we should be very happy.
The fridge is full of beers and they’re really nicely chilled.
They’ve been there for a week and normally I’d be thrilled,
But the fridge is under-used and its contents past their best
It’s fit to bust but wasted now the kids have flown the nest.

Everywhere it’s quiet and it’s pretty tidy too.
The washing basket’s empty and the seat’s down in the loo.
Sally Hanson’s done a runner and the dog is sparkly clean.
The towels are dry and folded and the en-suite really gleams.
Everything is in its place, it’s neat but I’m bereft.
I prefer the kid’s disorder in the days before they left.

So sitting on the sofa me and Dad survey the space.
We ought to take advantage there’s no kids around the place.
He looks at me and gives a wink “I’ve had a good idea
Pucker up my angel, plonk yourself down over here.
We need to have some “us” time, would you mind if I suggest
A little how’s-your-daddy, now the kids have flown the nest”

“Ungird those loins my angel here comes a big surprise”
As whipping off his best string vest I bare believe my eyes.
He might be growing older, and admit it, slightly bigger,
But still he’s in possession of some quite surprising vigour!
“..get those gert big knickers off, I know you’ll be impressed.
We might just get to like the fact the kids have flown the nest”

Later and mid-knickered, someone walks in through door
MUM! My god! DAD! Good grief! GOOD HEAVENS! cripes!…oh lor’
Then at this awkward juncture I hear a plaintive “ouch!
I think I put my back out pet when leaping off the couch”
Don’t worry love we’ll help you out , the kids are back god bless
Please put your Dad back on the couch – AND DON’T MAKE ANY MESS!!

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